What is a twin flame vs soulmate? Everything you need to know

Do you ever feel like you’ve met someone, and it’s just an instant connection?

That’s the feeling of being with a twin flame or soulmate.

The terms are often used interchangeably, but there are distinct differences between the two.

Twin flames are said to be two halves of the same soul reuniting, whereas soulmates are two different souls who are meant to be together.

We’ll take a closer look at the differences between those two concepts, and also why you might want to be careful when calling a person your twin flame or soulmate!

Differences between twin flames and soulmates

First, let’s define these concepts.

Twin Flames are two halves of the same soul who get separated at some point in time, and then re-find each other in the present day.

This happens to be a very rare occurrence and usually involves two people connecting with each other in a very intense and powerful way.

The term “soulmate” is more common and refers to two people who are not actually of the same soul but are meant to be together.

They can have many of the same qualities as a “twin flame” relationship, but for the most part, they are two different people.

Because twin flames are said to be two halves of the same soul, they are often called “mirror souls”.

This is because they will mirror aspects of themselves to the other person.

As you can imagine, this can be quite triggering and emotionally intense.

On the other hand, soulmates can be two people who are very different but still have a strong connection.

The connection between soulmates is often described as feeling familiar and comfortable like you’ve known each other for a long time.

Soulmates can come into your life for all kinds of reasons, such as to help you learn about yourself or to teach you something new.

Twin flames are often not even meant to be together forever because their relationship can be a bit toxic at times.

Soulmates, on the other hand, are a “match made in heaven” – someone who will be in your life forever.

Does that mean you will spend your entire life with that one person?

Well, that’s where things get tricky.

It’s important to remember that these terms are not scientific or even spiritual concepts; they are simply words used to describe certain types of relationships.

For this reason, it’s best to use caution when referring to someone as your “twin flame” or “soulmate”.

Why these concepts might not always be healthy

The main problem with these concepts is that they are very intense and all-consuming, so they can easily become unhealthy and egotistical.

If you truly believe that your partner is the person you were meant to be with forever, you are going to resist change.

The mere idea of potentially breaking up with “your other half” can be devastating and make it difficult to move on.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that no one person is perfect, and relationships can change over time.

It’s possible to experience deep love without labeling it as a “twin flame” or “soulmate” relationship.

Focus on enjoying the present moment, rather than trying to imagine the future and how things will end up.

When you fixate on someone being your soulmate or twin flame, this can cause you to get stuck in a rut.

You may also take your partner for granted, which can lead to resentment.

If you believe that you can’t be happy without this person, then you are putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on your partner.

You don’t want to end up resenting or blaming them for your unhappiness, or for your inability to move forward in your life.

However, if you are currently in a relationship with your twin flame or soulmate, you probably don’t really see what I’m getting at here, so let me try to explain why labeling a partner as your “twin flame” or “soulmate” can be detrimental sometimes:

Problem 1: Thinking your partner is “perfect”

When you think of your partner as your other half or the one you were always supposed to be with, you might likely view them as perfect.

It’s likely you have a few qualities that you admire in your partner, but it’s dangerous to think that they are “perfect”.

Your partner is a flawed human being just like you.

You can’t expect them to be perfect in every way and want them to change nothing about themselves.

That’s not healthy. You must learn to accept them for who they are, and not try to mold them into what you want them to be.

You see, when you believe that your partner is perfect in any way possible, you are setting very unrealistic standards for them.

It’s not fair to expect them to be something they are not.

Another issue with that is that when we think our partner is perfect, we are prone to putting them on a pedestal rather than seeing them as an equal.

This will lead to you subconsciously putting yourself down around them and can create an unhealthy power dynamic in your relationship.

The best thing you can do is to accept your partner for who they are and love them for their imperfections.

When you do this, it will create a healthy and balanced relationship where both partners feel respected and accepted.

But that’s not the only issue with calling your partner your twin flame or soulmate:

Problem 2: Basing your entire existence and happiness on another person

Putting all your eggs in one basket is never a good idea. You need to have a strong sense of self, your own interests, and a solid support system.

You can’t put all your faith in one person.

Essentially, if your partner leaves you or dies (which does happen), you will have nothing left.

You should spend time cultivating a healthy self-esteem and supporting network so that you can be happy on your own, even if your partner isn’t around.

This is especially important if you are in a relationship with a twin flame or soulmate, because they can leave you at any moment.

Now: I know you don’t want to think about that, and of course, the fact that your partner could leave should by no means be at the top of your head at all times!

However, it’s important that you understand that it’s not healthy at all to base your entire happiness and existence on one person alone.

Sure, you might get along really well with your partner, but fixating on them as the source of your joy and contentment is not a healthy way to live.

Remember: you can be happy on your own, and relying on yourself for your own happiness will help you build a strong foundation for any relationship you have.

The problem with soulmates and twin flames is that these concepts insinuate that this person is all you need to be happy.

Of course, that’s not a good way to live for you or your partner.

Speaking of your partner, let’s take a look at how this affects them:

Problem 3: This dependency puts a lot of pressure on your partner

You may feel like you need your partner, but that doesn’t mean that they can meet all your needs.

Each person has their own desires and goals in life, and you can’t expect them to drop everything just to fulfill your needs.

This can lead to resentment and frustration, and can cause your partner to resent you.

The thing is, when you base your entire happiness on your partner, they obviously notice.

At first, that might be flattering, but over time, this puts a lot of pressure on them to make you happy.

You see, it’s already a big task keeping yourself happy, but knowing that you are someone else’s source of happiness, too?

That’s a lot of responsibility to take on.

Plus, if your partner knows that you are depending on them for your happiness, then that might pressure them into staying, even if they want to leave.

The thing is, they might love you, which means that they don’t want to hurt you, even if they are no longer happy in the relationship.

So, if you want to have a healthy relationship with your partner, it’s important to find happiness within yourself and not rely too heavily on your partner for your happiness.

You need to focus on creating a life that is meaningful and fulfilling for yourself, instead of expecting your partner to do it all for you.

By doing this, you can build a strong relationship with mutual respect and understanding.

Now that I mentioned leaving:

Problem 4: You feel like you will never be happy without this person, so you accept toxic behavior

You might feel like you can’t live without your twin flame or soulmate, so you put up with toxic behavior.

You might think that you have to stay in the relationship because nothing else will ever compare.

This is not true. Even if you were meant to be with someone, you don’t have to put up with abuse or behavior that you know isn’t right.

If your partner is treating you poorly, you don’t owe them anything. You can be with someone who respects and appreciates you.

That’s the big danger of the concepts of twin flames and soulmates: once you get fixated on the idea that this person is “the One”, it will be hard to convince yourself otherwise.

That makes it easier to turn a blind eye to relationship dynamics that just aren’t working.

But you don’t have to stay in a relationship that isn’t healthy. You should be able to trust, respect, and feel safe with your partner.

If these things are missing, it’s time to start evaluating the relationship and decide if it’s something that is worth saving or if it’s time to move on.

The thing to remember is: even if those concepts were 100% real and this person is out there, how do you know that the person you are with right now is definitely and without a doubt the one?

Especially when there are toxic dynamics involved in the relationship!

Who knows, maybe they’re not even the one you are looking for, but you are clinging to them and accepting toxic behavior!

Speaking of clinging to them:

Problem 5: Codependency is sneaking in

You might be codependent if your relationship has a lot of these qualities.

You are always depending on your partner, and it’s draining both mentally and physically.

You feel trapped, but you are too afraid to leave your partner because you believe that they are the other half of your soul.

You might not know how to function without them, not to mention how to provide for yourself.

This can be very dangerous, especially if your relationship is not healthy.

You see, codependency is when you and your partner rely on each other for emotional and physical support, which can lead to an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.

The best way to combat this is to start taking care of yourself.

Take some time away from your partner and focus on yourself. Learn how to do things on your own, be independent, and take care of your own needs.

This will help you gain more confidence in yourself, which in turn can help you make more rational decisions about your relationship and decide if it’s right for you or not.

Trust me, a codependent relationship will never make you happy.

There will always be a part of you needing more, wanting more, and feeling deeply unsafe because you are scared of them leaving.

The good news?

You can change this dynamic all on your own, sometimes even without leaving the relationship!

If you want to learn more about the issues about twin flames and soulmates, and how to approach this topic in a much healthier way, you should check out Justin Brown’s video on that: 

He summarizes exactly what I was talking about here and will tell you what you can do to use these concepts for good!

But let’s take a look at how you can break this codependent pattern:

The solution? Understand that you are already whole on your own

When you truly understand that you are already complete and whole on your own, you will no longer feel the urge to rely on another person.

You can love someone and appreciate them, but that doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life.

You can appreciate your partner while still respecting their decision to end the relationship if they ever want to leave.

You can love someone even if they don’t love you back.

Simply put, you can appreciate the connection you had with a twin flame or soulmate without needing them in your life.

But that’s not even the biggest part of this – it’s actually way more important if they actually love you back and want to be with you!

That’s when you really need that knowledge in your heart that whether they stay or leave – you are whole.

No matter what happens, you will be okay on your own because you are your own soul and nothing could ever change that.

Sure, there are people who will add great value to our lives and that is beautiful, and of course, we wouldn’t want to lose these people, but you need to know deep down that IF that ever happened, you’d heal and you’d find other people who add just as much value to your life!

The most important thing to remember in that aspect is to love yourself, first:

Love yourself, first

To truly love another person without attaching to them in an unhealthy way, you must first love yourself.

The only way you will ever find a healthy, happy relationship is if you truly love and respect yourself.

You must be comfortable in your own skin before you love someone without attaching to them.

It’s important to develop a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.

This way, you won’t need someone else to fill the void inside of you.

If you are comfortable with yourself and confident in yourself, you will naturally attract the right kind of people into your life.

You see, that way, the people you attract will add to your life, and you won’t depend on them for happiness and approval.

You’ll love them for who they are and they’ll love you – but you won’t depend on each other for your life and happiness anymore!

Final words

If you feel an instant connection when you meet someone new, it could be because you are twin flames or soulmates.

While it’s an intense experience, it’s important not to get too attached.

It’s important to take things slow, get to know the other person, and don’t expect anything crazy to happen.

If you feel this way, it’s best to take it easy and make sure you don’t get too hung up on the idea that you are supposed to be with this person for the rest of your life.

Instead, take it slow and see if you and this person are truly compatible and if you like them.

As a rule of thumb, simply keep in mind that no matter what happens, you will always be okay, whether that’s with or without them!