What if my twin flame is my ex? 14 big steps to take

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

If you’ve been on a spiritual journey and found that your ex was your twin flame, then the pain you felt when the two of you broke up will be constant. 

You are not only dealing with the end of a relationship, but also with a devastating shift in your spiritual journey. 

Here are 14 big steps to take.

1) Look for signs that your ex is your twin flame

As you begin to heal from the breakup and reconnect with your true higher self, you will see signs everywhere.  

You may feel this way because you are embracing a new vibration, which is why the transition is so hard on you. 

It is common to see signs like the colors of your aura begin to resemble those of your twin flame. 

Your dreams will be full of them, so you know they are all around you. 

To help you confirm this, here are some signs that your ex is your twin flame:

  • You feel a deep emotional connection with your ex, even in the most mundane moments.
  • You are drawn to certain places and people because you feel linked to them. 
  • Dreaming about your twin flame often feels more real than dreaming about yourself.
  • You often find yourself thinking about how perfect your ex was for you. 
  • Your heart races whenever you think about your ex. 

But you can also seek a gifted advisor to help you find out for sure. Once you are aware that your ex is your twin flame, you can begin to take other steps. 

In this YouTube video below, we explain the 10 big signs to confirm if they’re your twin flame.

2) Have a meeting of the minds

This meeting is a great way to connect with the other half of your soul. 

You can use it to understand where they are at in their journey and see how they are planning on moving forward in this lifetime. 

Have a meeting of the minds with your twin flame, who will most likely be one of your guides or even an entity who was once part of your soul group. 

In this meeting, you can discuss anything that is causing the two of you to move out of alignment. 

You can ask your ex if they are indeed your twin flame and what their intentions are for you. And you can explain how you would like to move forward as well. 

But whatever you do, have this meeting! It’s a great chance to open your eyes to a lot of unfinished business, as well as help you acknowledge what is true on both sides. 

Don’t let the unresolved issues and questions affect other areas of your life. 

3) Learn about your ex’s energy

You may have already done this by doing energy work. 

But now, you are going to focus on your ex’s energy in particular. 

It is important to understand what they are bringing into your life, as well as what they are not. 

Individuals who share the same soul vibration will hold similar auras, but their colors and patterns may vary.

By understanding how your twin flame’s energy differs from yours, you can better see what areas of your life need healing and growth. 

It will be easier to understand the differences between you and them than the similarities. 

You can also use it to learn more about your own soul’s journey, as well as how to help others on their own journey. 

Also, keep in mind: 

When you are working with your twin flame’s energy, you are learning about the masculine and feminine energy that it holds. 

Understanding these energies on your own, as well as those in other individuals will help you see why certain relationships don’t work for you. 

4) Don’t get caught up in the past

It will be easy to focus on the hurt you felt when your ex left, but you need to let go of this in order to learn how to move forward. 

You are not only dealing with the end of a relationship, but also with a devastating shift in your spiritual journey. 

Only once you have recognized this can you begin to heal. 

To help you with this, here are some steps that will help heal the past: 

  • Meditate on the emotions that you were feeling during the breakup. Allow yourself to feel all of the pain that you went through.
  • You can also write out your feelings, listen to music and journal or try another outlet that helps you process your emotions. 
  • Talk to others who have been in this situation, as they may be able to empathize with what you are feeling. 
  • Communicate with your ex so that you can learn more about why they left you or what they are feeling now.

5) Set clear boundaries

During your meeting of the minds, you can set boundaries with your ex, so that they know what to expect from you. 

You can talk about the things you do not want to happen in your life, as well as what you do want. 

You should also let them know how long it will take for them to be included in this new journey. 

And because this is not a high school relationship anymore, you can be completely honest with them and make sure their feelings are taken care of. 

You can tell them how you are planning on moving forward, including what you are doing to heal yourself and help others. 

You can also let them know that you will be refraining from communicating with them. 

By setting these boundaries, you will give your ex a better idea of what your feelings are about this life and leave more room for healing for both of you. 

6) Understand the difference

Have you ever wondered why your ex is your twin flame but he/she is different in so many ways? 

They may have different careers, different interests, and even different personalities. They may be Capricorn while you are a Cancer. 

They may be more outgoing, while you are more introverted. 

The reality is that as twin flames, your souls and lives may have been together at one time and split off into your own lives. 

You may have traveled on separate paths to learn different lessons. 

The goal of twin flame relationships is to reunite with each other again and share a deeper love than the one you had before, with an even stronger bond. 

Over time, your ex may have become someone different, as well as yourself. You may have aged differently, had different life experiences, and even become more confident or less confident in who you are as an individual. 

The important thing to do is to find a way to accept them and their differences. 

Being comfortable with yourself and who you are is the best way to help your ex become more comfortable with who you are as well. 

If you can accept your differences, it may also allow you to see how important they are in your life. 

And if they were not your twin flame, they would not have been able to teach you so much. So, be grateful for the time you had with them, as well as the time you will have from here on out. 

7) Stay grounded and connect regularly

The truth is: 

It’s hard to find your twin flame – let alone keep them. 

But once you have found that special someone, it’s even harder to be with them. 

When you are in a relationship with someone who shares your soul vibration, there is a huge draw between the two of you. 

It’s like having a magnet that is trying to connect with another magnet of the same charge. 

The more you stay together, the stronger the attraction will become – which could take away from your own personal growth and spiritual journey. 

But if you are grounded, it will be easier to maintain a long-term relationship with your twin flame (in case you want to win your ex back).

Grounding yourself can help you to focus on the present moment, as well as just what is happening in your life. 

It can also give you a healthy sense of self so that you know who you really are and not just who others want or expect you to be. 

One way that you can stay grounded is by regularly meditating or spending time alone in nature. These activities will help you to get in touch with your soul’s higher vibration. 

By reaching this higher vibration, you will be more aware of the things that make you feel good in life and what it takes to maintain your spiritual path. 

8) Find a mutual connection

Trust me, it will be easy to think that reconnecting with your ex and getting back together with them is what you want. 

But the truth is when two people are truly meant to be together, they will always find a way to come back together. 

The question you should be asking yourself is: “Does getting back with my ex really mean that I am following my soul’s journey?” 

If the answer is yes, then you may have found your twin flame and reconnected with them after the breakup. 

But if the answer is no, then it’s time to move on and find someone who shares a mutual connection with you. 

This can be someone who has been in your life before, or someone new. 

It just needs to be someone who wants to grow with you spiritually and emotionally – not just physically, financially, or socially. 

This is the only way that you can truly find peace, love, and healing in your life.

9) Set clear intentions

You need to decide between getting back with your ex, or letting go and moving on.

You may want to get back together or you may be sick of fighting. This is something that every person must decide for themselves. 

By setting intentions, you can let go of any negative emotions and focus on the future. And you will then be able to move forward and make choices that will help you achieve success in your life.

So, in case you want to get your ex back, you should create a list of things that you want. 

You can start by making a list of all the things that you enjoyed about your ex before the breakup. 

Then, think about what is missing in your life right now. And finally, make a list of the things that you can offer your twin flame without hesitation.

However, if you choose to leave your ex and move on, you should be clear about what is missing in your life right now without any hesitation. 

And lastly, why you need to leave them. 

The reason why you want to get back with them is that they are a part of who you are. 

But the reason why you are moving on is that they are not compatible with your soul’s journey. 

If you are not ready to let go, then you will be filled with fear and self-doubt. 

Be positive and confident in yourself as you decide what is best for you, as well as your soul’s journey. 

You do not have to make a decision right away. This can be best done when the time feels right. And that time will always come if you remain true to yourself.

10) Start practicing self-care

When you go through a breakup, you feel like your heart has been torn out. You will question if you will be ok. If the pain will ever go away. And if you can actually be happy again.

The truth is, time heals all wounds. But in order to let time heal your wounds and move on, you have to take care of yourself first. 

And that includes taking care of your body, mind, and soul. 

Spending time in nature is one way to do this. It will help you to take in the beauty and help you to feel more connected with Mother Nature. 

Putting yourself first is also essential when you are going through a difficult breakup. 

But what are some other ways that you can start taking care of yourself

You should create a self-care plan so that it’s easier to stay on track. Here are a few things that you can start doing today: 

  • Give yourself plenty of downtime. 
  • Do something new and exciting. 
  • Drink a cup of tea (or your favorite coffee). 
  • Maintain a regular meditation or yoga routine. 
  • Eat healthy foods and maintain a healthy body weight. 
  • Spend time with your friends and family on a regular basis.

11) Realize the pattern of what you’re looking for

Do you actually want to get back with your ex, or are you just intent on getting your ex back since that’s what you think is best?

Some people are just not meant to be together. It’s because they don’t have enough in common, they can’t see eye-to-eye or they see the same person in each other. 

It’s no one’s fault. It may be just the way things were meant to go. So if it’s not meant to be, then move on and let it be.

Realizing the pattern of what you’re looking for will take away the fear of getting your ex back and help you to focus on what you need to do next in life.

By focusing on what you need, you will then be able to make a decision that is in your highest and best interest.


When you’re soul gets involved, things happen fast. This is how it works. 

If your ex is your twin flame, then they will either come back to you or not. No one forces them to meet another person. 

This is a law of attraction that has been set into motion by your soul, and it will not go away. 

12) Make your relationship your priority

One of the effective steps to take if your ex is your twin flame is to make your relationship your priority.

It’s not easy to come to terms with the fact that your ex is now in a relationship with someone else. It’s even harder when they’re engaged, married, or have a new baby. 

If you really want to be with your twin flame, then you need to do something about it. You need to make sure that they stay in your life by taking an active role in the relationship. 

By making your relationship your priority, you will be able to see that your ex is not really interested in having a relationship with anyone else because the connection that you have is so strong.

They are still attracted to you and are working on remembering what it was like before the breakup. This is when you should seize the opportunity to get them back by making things work out.

If they break up with their new love interest and end up coming back with you, then you’ll have met your twin flame again.

13) Let go of expectations

The biggest thing that you need to let go of is your expectations. Life is full of surprises and it’s important to keep this in mind at all times. 

You have no way of knowing what your twin flame is going to do or say in the future, so please don’t get upset or angry when they do things that you don’t expect them to do. 

Instead, try to see it as an opportunity for something good to happen. 

It’s all about healing yourself and getting to the place where you can forgive and let go of the hurt that caused the breakup.

Forgiveness is important because you will never be happy until you let go of your anger, resentment, and hurt. 

This will happen naturally when you have accepted what happened in the past and have a new way of looking at things. 

You will be able to move forward in life without having any regrets or bitterness inside.

14) Choose a new path to fulfill your soul’s purpose

OK, so now you have chosen to move on. What are you going to do next? 

Once you have made this decision, you need to decide how it is that you are going to spend the rest of your life. 

Which path will you take? Success or failure? 

You are the one who gets to decide and this is only possible when you stop thinking about your ex, and instead think about what is best for you.

If you keep thinking that getting back to your ex is the best path for you, then you will get nowhere fast. 

Instead, try to focus on all the great things in your life right now. 

When you have a new path, it will be easier to forget about the breakup and focus on your life instead.

You can seek out new hobbies, get into a new relationship, and find a new career path that will make you happy.

The possibilities are endless, but once you’ve chosen something, it’s important to follow through with it. 

Final thoughts

Realizing your ex is your twin flame can be a confusing and difficult process. But it doesn’t have to be. 

By taking time to do spiritual cleansing, you can help to release yourself from all of the negative energy that keeps coming up in every aspect of your life. 

The healing and cleansing process is what will make it easier for you to do things that will help you to stay on track with your twin flame healing journey. 

You can start to see the bigger picture and understand why your twin flame is no longer with you. They truly want you to be successful and find happiness, even if this means that you have to meet someone else. 

But if you decide to get your ex back, then you do so at your own risk. 

Just try to stay true to yourself and find the path that will bring you closer to who you truly are inside. 

Discover the truth about your twin flame connection

Are you on the twin flame journey and looking for answers?

We understand that it can be a challenging and confusing path to navigate.

That’s why we’ve created the Twin Flame Psychic Robot, using the latest advancements in AI to provide you with insight and understanding about your journey.

Our robot is designed to help you on your twin flame journey, by answering all your questions and providing you with personalized insights. It’s easy to use and accessible 24/7, so you can get answers whenever you need them.

Don’t wait any longer to uncover the secrets of your twin flame journey. Try our Twin Flame Psychic Robot now and gain a deeper understanding of your journey.

Check it out now.