In a twin flame relationship, you will often find the runner-chaser dynamic, where one twin flame is trying to pull away from the relationship, while the other one is desperately holding on.
But what determines who the runner is and who the chaser is?
Well, there are certain characteristics you can look out for that a twin flame runner almost always possesses.
Knowing these might help you out with your own relationship and figuring it out!
1) They have commitment issues
If you notice that your twin flame has trouble committing to anything in general, they might also struggle with committing to you.
This includes anything from what you do to how long your relationship lasts.
This is a very common twin flame symptom, and it often stems from a fear of being trapped or limited in some way.
If you have a commitment-phobic twin flame, it might be a good idea to approach your relationship with the idea that you are both more like friends, rather than lovers.
This might give them more reassurance that they are not trapped in any way.
If you have a twin flame who has commitment issues, you might have to be willing to let them go if things ever get too serious.
This all relates to the next point:
2) They have an avoidant attachment style
A twin flame who has an avoidant attachment style will be very strong-willed and stubborn in a way that isn’t always helpful.
Because they are used to being “in control” of their emotions, they might push you away if they feel things are getting too serious or intimate.
This is because they want to avoid getting their feelings hurt or going through another bad relationship.
They might end up pushing you away and drawing you back in and out of their lives throughout the relationship.
An avoidant attachment style is almost always combined with a runner attitude, so if you catch your twin flame pushing you away or being overly stubborn or controlling, they might be expressing their attachment style.
If you don’t know, attachment styles are how you approach any relationship in your life and it is based on experiences you had as a child with your primary caregivers.
This often has one underlying root cause:
3) They struggle with trust
A runner twin flame will often struggle with trusting you and others, no matter how much time you spend together.
This is because they have been hurt before and are guarded against future pain.
This often stems from childhood trust issues, but it can also happen in later relationships if someone lost trust in their partner for some reason.
If your twin flame struggles with trust, you have to recognize that you have to do a lot of the work in the relationship.
You have to work to earn their trust and prove that you are trustworthy. This might mean taking things really slow and building up the trust between you two over time.
4) They are more unconscious than their twin flame
A twin flame who is more unconscious than their twin flame will often be the runner in their relationship.
They might not be aware of how they are hurting the relationship and hurting their twin flame.
Some examples of this would be making plans without their twin flame or not really understanding the whole concept of twin flames.
The fact that they aren’t as spiritually informed can scare them away from this strong connection.
If you want to figure out if your twin is “asleep”, you could try talking to someone at Psychic Source.
They give amazing advice on how to introduce someone to the topic of twin flames without freaking them out.
It’s important to recognize this in your relationship. If your twin is more unconscious than you, you might have to slow down and let them catch up.
5) They operate on fear
A twin flame runner will often be operating on fear. This can be fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, fear of abandonment, fear of getting hurt, or fear of feeling too much.
They might be afraid of getting too close to you and finding out that you don’t live up to their expectations.
They might be afraid of having feelings for you that they can’t control.
Maybe they are afraid of getting too close to you and then losing you, or they might be afraid of getting wounded again like they were in a past relationship.
Whatever the root of their fear is, it will cause them to act differently than their twin flame.
A twin flame runner will often be more distant, avoidant, and cold than their twin flame would be. This is because they are trying to protect themselves from getting hurt.
But fear is not the only emotion driving their decisions:
6) They operate on pain
A twin flame runner is often operating on pain.
This can include old wounds, unprocessed trauma, or unresolved emotions from past and present relationships.
What this means is that these twin flames are often holding onto emotional pain they haven’t dealt with yet, and they might be bringing it into the relationship with their twin.
If you notice that your twin flame is acting distant and cold, or if they are getting angry and aggressive at times, they might be operating on pain.
This can be a sign that they are bringing their pain into the relationship with you.
If this is happening, you need to be patient with your twin flame and let them deal with their pain on their own terms. It has to be resolved on their terms and in their own time.
A pretty clear sign that this is the case, is that they are very reactive with you:
7) They are very reactive
A twin flame who is very reactive is likely a runner in their relationship.
This is because they are not operating from a place of love and respect for themselves and for their twin.
Instead, they are operating on old wounds and emotional pain, and they are often on the defensive.
A twin flame who is very reactive will often react negatively to their twin flame with bitterness and anger.
They might be very critical of their twin flame and pick at them or try to change them in some way.
If your twin flame is very reactive, they need to find peace and heal from their wounds.
This will help them be more loving towards their twin and be more likely to approach the relationship from a place of love and respect.
And what makes a relationship more loving and respecting than clear communication? That brings me to my next point:
8) They don’t communicate effectively
A twin flame runner might not communicate effectively with their twin flame.
If your twin flame is not communicating with you, it might indicate that they are a runner.
They might not be ready to be in a relationship with you or they might not be able to communicate their feelings and thoughts properly.
You see, they might just be shutting down or going through an avoidance phase.
If you notice that either one of you is not communicating, you might want to work on communication between you two.
9) They don’t like change
A twin flame who doesn’t like change will often be the runner in their relationship.
This twin flame might be very used to their life as it is and might not be comfortable with change, even positive things like new relationship developments and intimacy.
Because they are not ready to grow with their twin flame and are more comfortable with their life as it is, they might try to run from their twin and the relationship.
If your twin flame doesn’t seem to like change and doesn’t seem to be ready to grow with you, you might have to let them go.
They just aren’t ready for a relationship yet and might not be ready for a twin flame relationship.
But there is something ironic about this situation:
10) They also want a union
A twin flame who is a runner might actually want a union with their twin flame more than anything.
They might desperately want to be with their twin, but they might not know how to deal with those feelings and end up pushing them away.
If your twin is a runner, but they also want a union, you might have to be very patient with them and recognize that they are just not ready to handle what they want.
You might want to let them know that you are there and that you want a union with them, but you also want to be respectful of their feelings and help them learn how to deal with them.
A runner twin flame might also be a chaser twin flame at times. A runner/chaser dynamic can often go back and forth between the two twins.
11) They struggle with self-love
Another characteristic of twin-flame runners is that they struggle with self-love.
They might feel unworthy of being loved, or they might have a lot of self-doubt and insecurity.
Often, the reason they can’t commit to the relationship is that they don’t feel like they deserve it.
If you have a twin flame who can’t commit to a relationship with you, ask yourself if they are struggling with self-love and if this could be what’s stopping them from committing to you.
12) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most intimate connections a person can have with someone.
Often, when we feel uncomfortable or insecure, we avoid eye contact.
Twin-flame runners might avoid eye contact because it feels too intimate for them to connect with their twin on a deep level.
They can feel vulnerable and afraid when they look into their twin’s eyes, so they look away. This is a sure sign that your twin flame is running from you and the relationship.
This was another tip I got at Psychic Source. I loved it, because it actually gave me something tangible to look for.
If you want to figure out how your twin flame truly feels about you and the relationship, you should get your own love reading!
13) They will block you sometimes
You know that action of blocking someone on your phone that most people just did in their teenage years or with a truly toxic ex?
Well, a twin flame runner will also block you sometimes.
They don’t want to deal with what they are feeling, so they will push you away a little bit by blocking you on social media and not responding to your messages.
You should know that the twin flame runner is just in pain, and it’s very likely that they will come around and want you back.
14) They won’t talk about their life
A twin flame runner will not open up about their life, even though they want to be in a deeper relationship with you.
Since they are not ready to know all of their feelings and don’t know how to feel comfortable communicating with you, they might avoid talking about their life.
While your twin might not want to open up about their life, this is still something you should pay attention to.
If your twin is avoiding talking about their life, it might mean that there is something bothering them that could be the source of why they are running from a relationship.
15) They love the silent treatment
I mentioned blocking earlier, but this one is probably worse: a twin flame runner tends to love using the silent treatment.
If twin flame runners don’t want to deal with you, they might not be able to talk about their feelings. Therefore, one way around it is to just give them some space and leave them alone for a little bit.
While this can be frustrating for their twin and for you, patience is really the key here. Your twin will come around eventually and want you back.
However, you also need to weigh your options here and have enough respect for yourself!
This article was packed with information about what makes a twin flame runner.
We discovered that a runner twin flame is often commitment-phobic, has an avoidant attachment style, struggles with trust, operates on fear, and much more.
Now that you know how to spot the runner, you might be able to get a clearer picture on where your relationship is headed.
One thing is for certain, twin flame or not, try to always prioritize yourself and your happiness in your relationships!
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