The twin flame avoider: 13 signs they are struggling with fear or resistance

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Have you ever felt like your twin flame is struggling with resistance? It’s like they fear they’ll lose themselves in the intensity of the connection.

If that’s the case, chances are that you’re dealing with a twin flame avoider.

Honestly, that’s what I noticed about myself recently. Despite feeling a deep connection with my twin flame, I found myself avoiding the relationship at every turn. 

It wasn’t until I recognized the signs of fear and resistance that I was able to work through my issues and fully embrace the love I was meant to have. 

In this article, I’ll share the 13 signs of twin flame avoiders struggling with fear or resistance and offer tips on how to overcome these obstacles and experience the deep, transformative love of your twin flame.

13 signs your twin flame is struggling with fear or resistance

1) They’re emotionally detached from you

Want to know what’s the most obvious sign that your twin flame is struggling with resistance or fear?

If you feel like they’re becoming more and more emotionally detached from you, then I’d clearly conclude that you’re dealing with a twin flame avoider. 

Let me explain why it’s such a crucial sign.

Maybe they seem hesitant to share their feelings. Or maybe you’ve noticed that they tend to withdraw from intimacy at times. 

If that’s the case, they may be struggling with fear or resistance to the intense connection you share.

The truth is that emotional detachment can be a tough barrier to overcome in any relationship. No wonder it’s especially challenging in a twin flame connection. 

The depth of the connection can trigger intense feelings of vulnerability and fear of loss, making it difficult for your twin flame to open up fully. 

But why is emotional detachment such a common defense mechanism in the first place?

From a psychological perspective, when we experience emotional pain, our brains activate the fight-or-flight response to protect us from further harm. 

In simple terms, it’s a survival mechanism that helps us respond quickly to potential threats, like a predator or an attacker. 

And you know what?

In this case, you’re perceived as a predator or an attacker. Of course, I’m not saying that’s what your twin flame thinks of you.

What I’m saying is that you activate such physiological mechanisms in them. And this is probably because of some unconscious reason your twin flame isn’t even aware of.

The thing is that this fight-or-flight response can manifest as emotional detachment, where they shut down their emotions to avoid getting hurt again. 

So, how can you help your twin flame overcome emotional detachment and open up to you fully? 

Start by creating a safe and supportive environment, and try to make them feel comfortable sharing their emotions and vulnerabilities.

And remember: emotional detachment is simply a defense mechanism that can be overcome with time, patience, and compassion.

2) They avoid contact or have irregular communication patterns

At some point, your twin flame might stop having regular communication with you. But usually, this happens just before the twin flame separation stage.

But if you’re sure you’re not facing such a phase, but your twin flame is still not responding to your messages as quickly as they used to? Even more – they might seem hesitant to make plans with you.

In this case, you might naturally wonder: “Is this a sign that my twin flame is avoiding me?”

Well, irregular communication patterns can be a sign of fear or resistance in a twin flame connection. Why?

Because your twin flame may be struggling to come to terms with the intensity of the connection and the emotions it brings up for them.

The truth is that the high intensity of a twin flame connection can be overwhelming and trigger intense feelings of fear 

As a result, they just avoid contact with you altogether.

The thing is that it can be scary to open up fully to someone and risk getting hurt, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. 

For some people, the easiest way to cope with these feelings is to withdraw.

And I bet that’s what your twin flame is doing. At least, that’s how I used to avoid my partner when I was struggling with resistance.

Something that helped me was to take a step back and reflect on why I was avoiding contact. 

Once I was able to acknowledge my fear, I was able to start working through it and communicate better with my twin flame.

3) They avoid intimacy

Okay, one thing is having irregular communication patterns. But have you also noticed that your twin flame is avoiding intimacy with you?

Well, avoiding intimacy is another sign that your twin flame might be struggling with fear or resistance.

Let’s be honest:

Intimacy requires vulnerability and opening up to another person on a deep level, which can be scary for some people. That’s especially true in a twin flame connection.

That having said, your twin flame may avoid physical intimacy or emotional intimacy because they’re afraid of getting too close and being hurt.

But it’s important to remember that avoiding intimacy can also be a way to avoid the intensity of the connection, which is something your twin flame might be struggling with.

Why are they struggling?

Because they might not be ready to confront their deepest fears and emotions that are brought up by the connection with you. 

Maybe, your twin flame is feeling overwhelmed. This makes them unsure about how to navigate the intensity of the bond.

The result?

They avoid intimacy without even realizing it.

The key here is that twin flame avoiders may not even understand their withdrawal. 

That’s why it’s important to help your twin flame realize how their attitude might break down intimacy in your relationship.

Still, ​​instead of pushing them to be more intimate, try to create a safe space where they can feel free to open up at their own pace. 

4) They struggle to share their feelings

Before we move on to the next sign, let me ask you a question:

When was the last time your twin flame shared their feelings with you?

A week ago? A month ago? Maybe it’s been even longer.

Admit it.

Regardless of your answer, if you find that your twin flame is struggling to share their feelings with you, it could be a sign that they’re avoiding the connection.

Now you’re probably wondering what could be the reason why they can’t share their feelings. Or why couldn’t you notice that before.

Well, obviously, the main reason is their fear of vulnerability. 

Why do they feel vulnerable?

One possible explanation is that they have been hurt in the past and are afraid of being hurt again. But also, they might not be fully aware of their own emotions or how to express them. 

And you know what?

Chances are that you haven’t noticed this pattern before because you were too focused on your own emotions and connection with your twin flame. 

It’s not easy to admit that but that’s exactly what I realized about myself.

And yes, it can be easy to get caught up in the intensity of the connection and miss important signs of fear or resistance in your partner.

But now that you are aware of this sign, you can start to pay closer attention to your twin flame’s communication patterns and offer support and understanding as they work through their emotions.

5) You notice trust issues in your twin flame’s attitude

You won’t be surprised if I tell you that trust is an essential component of any relationship. And twin flame relationships aren’t an exception.

But you know what?

If your twin flame has trust issues, it can be a significant barrier to building and maintaining a strong, healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, one of the most common reasons why your twin flame might avoid you is their irrational doubt in you. They just have trust issues and find it difficult to believe in the connection.

Trust issues can arise for a variety of reasons, including past traumas, and previous relationship experiences. 

For instance, if your twin flame has been hurt or betrayed in the past, they may struggle to trust you fully, even if you’ve never given them a reason not to.

But guess what?

Your twin flame’s trust issues could also be a result of their own fears and insecurities. As a result, they may be struggling with self-doubt and projecting those doubts onto you and the relationship.

Whatever the reason may be, trust issues can lead to a lack of communication and distance in a twin flame relationship. 

I mean, if your twin flame doesn’t trust you, how can they share their true feelings with you?

In this situation, you’ll probably never know what makes them happy, sad, worried, or concerned.

So, if you notice trust issues in your twin flame’s attitude, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation about it.

Ask them if there’s anything you can do to help build trust in the relationship, and be patient as they work through their fears and concerns.

6) Your twin flame is afraid of commitment 

Have you tried to take your twin flame relationship to the next level, but your partner seems hesitant or afraid of commitment?

While sometimes being afraid of commitment is natural, it can also be a sign that your partner is a twin flame avoider.

Fear of commitment can be a complex issue, and it’s important to consider why your twin flame may be hesitant to take things to the next level.

Psychologically, commitment issues can be related to attachment styles, past traumas, or fears of vulnerability and intimacy.

I know this because I talked to a therapist after I noticed I was avoiding my twin flame. She told me that my fear of commitment was rooted in my childhood attachment style. Growing up, I had an emotionally unavailable parent, which made me develop an anxious attachment style.

As a result, I tended to seek out relationships with people who were also emotionally unavailable, as that felt familiar to me. 

That’s why I became a twin flame avoider. 

When my twin flame wanted to take our relationship to the next level, it triggered my fear of vulnerability and the possibility of getting hurt.

It took a lot of self-reflection and therapy to work through my fear of commitment and change my attachment style. 

But once I did, I was able to fully embrace my twin flame connection and commit to my partner.

So maybe, that’s something happening to your twin flame as well. And if that’s the case, don’t force them to commit because, over time, they’ll eventually realize their issues.

7) Your twin flame is struggling to make long-term plans

Not only commitment, but twin flame avoiders may also struggle to make long-term plans. 

Why so?

Well, uncertainty can be a driving force behind this behavior. 

Twin flame avoiders may be afraid to make long-term plans because they’re not sure if they want to commit to the relationship

For example, they may feel like they’re not ready to make a long-term commitment or that they’re not sure if the connection is strong enough to last.

But here’s one more thing you should know:

What if your partner is afraid that they will disappoint you? What if you have too high expectations of them and they’re afraid that they won’t be able to meet them in the long term?

As for me, I have to admit that my partner was a bit demanding. This made me feel like I was losing my independence in our relationship.

Even more – sometimes he made me feel like he was controlling my life. Not surprisingly, this was too overwhelming at times.

You know, I was sort of facing an internal conflict, and this made it difficult for me to commit fully to the relationship.

How did I cope with that situation?

Well, he was my twin flame after all. So, we worked together to set realistic expectations and goals for our relationship. This helped me alleviate some of the pressure and uncertainty.

8) They’re mirroring you

Have you noticed that your twin flame seems to be mirroring your thoughts, behaviors, or even physical appearance?

Since you’re looking for reasons why they’re avoiding you, chances are that you haven’t.

It might seem a bit strange, but yes, it’s not uncommon for twin flames to mirror each other’s behaviors and characteristics. 

In fact, this mirroring can be a key aspect of the twin flame journey.

Perhaps not surprisingly, twin flames often reflect in one another their own deepest, darkest issues that need resolving. 

This can sometimes lead to uncomfortable interactions. The result is that both partners are forced to confront their own inner demons.

Sounds familiar?

If so, here’s what you should know:

When twin flames ignore one another or experience a period of disconnection, they are actually mirroring something much bigger.

The reason is that whatever fear or insecurity has caused the disconnection most likely exists within both partners.

I know “mirroring” can be a difficult concept to grasp, but you know what’s the secret?

The twin flame journey is not just about finding a romantic partner. It’s also about self-discovery and growth. 

So, here’s the thing:

Whatever fears or insecurities are causing disconnection in the relationship, they most likely exist within both of you.

For example, if you have a fear of abandonment, your twin flame may exhibit behaviors that trigger that fear in you, such as withdrawing or becoming distant. 

Or, if you see that your twin flame is overly critical of themselves, it may be a reflection of your own inner critic.

That’s why you should ask yourself what these mirrors mean for you and be open to exploring your own deepest issues that need resolving. 

This can be a challenging and uncomfortable process, but trust me, it can also lead to profound personal growth and transformation.

9) You can’t resolve conflicts with them

Before we dive into another reason why your twin flame is avoiding you, let me first ask you, what are your conflict resolution strategies? 

Do you tend to shut down and avoid confrontation? Or perhaps you take a step back to cool down before discussing the issue?

What if you don’t even know what strategies you and your twin flame use to resolve conflicts?

Well, if you can’t resolve conflicts with your twin flame, that’s a big red flag.

It could be a sign that they’re struggling with fear or resistance in the relationship.

The thing is that you can’t resolve conflicts with them because they either shut down completely or refuse to engage in constructive dialogue. 

Safely, this can make it difficult to work through issues and can leave you feeling frustrated and unheard.

If you’re constantly avoiding conflict or if your twin flame shuts down every time you try to talk things out, it’s not a healthy dynamic.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you handle it that determines the strength and longevity of your bond, right?

If you agree with me and experience this struggle, then I encourage you to take a step back and evaluate the situation.

Ask yourself:

Are you both communicating effectively or are there deeper issues at play?

Remember, healthy communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to resolving conflicts with your twin flame.

10) They keep their distance emotionally and physically

Remember the first sign of the twin flame avoider that I discussed? It was that your twin flame was emotionally detached from you.

Well, you should know that it’s not only about emotional distance but physical distance as well.

Yes, your twin flame’s emotional distance could also manifest in the physical distance as well. For instance, they might be avoiding physical touch or intimacy.

One thing is for sure:

If your twin flame is avoiding physical and emotional closeness, it’s crucial to address the issue and try to work through it together.


Because ignoring the problem or sweeping it under the rug will only lead to more distance and potentially damage the relationship beyond repair.

It’s possible that your twin flame may need some space or time to work through their insecurities, and that’s okay.

But it’s important to have open and honest communication about their needs and your own, while also respecting each other’s boundaries.

Remember, a strong and healthy relationship requires emotional and physical closeness.

11) They engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that push you away

Have you ever felt like your twin flame is a rollercoaster of emotions, sometimes pulling you close, and at other times pushing you away?

It can be confusing and frustrating, especially when their actions don’t match their words.

Well, let me tell you something: 

You’re probably dealing with a twin flame avoider who engages in self-sabotaging behaviors.

These behaviors can take many forms, such as picking fights, becoming distant, or even cheating. The worst part is that whether these actions are subtle or blatant, they all have the same underlying purpose – to create distance and avoid getting too close.

Perhaps they start arguments over trivial things, or they become distant and cold without any explanation. 

Sounds familiar?

In my case, I remember when my twin flame would often pick fights over insignificant things, and it left me feeling confused and hurt.

At first, I thought it was just a phase or a rough patch in our relationship. However, as time went on, it became clear that these behaviors were rooted in something deeper.

I’m not afraid to admit that it took a lot of patience and understanding to work through these issues together. But I’m happy to say we were able to overcome them and build a stronger connection as a result.

So, if you’re dealing with a twin flame avoider who engages in self-sabotaging behaviors, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and compassion.

Try to understand their fears, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

12) They often find fault in your words or actions

I remember a time when my twin flame and I were having a conversation, and I found myself constantly searching for faults in their words.

No matter what he said, I felt like I had to challenge him or prove them wrong. It was like I was on the defensive all the time, and I couldn’t just relax and enjoy the conversation.

Looking back, I realize that my behavior was a sign of my own fear or resistance. I was afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt, so I tried to protect myself by finding faults in my twin flame’s words.

But you know what? This behavior only pushed us further apart and created unnecessary tension in our relationship.

That’s why I wanted to share my experience with you.

If you feel that your twin flame also seems to constantly find fault in your words or actions, it may be a reason why they’re avoiding you.

Instead of getting defensive or lashing out, I’d suggest approaching the situation with compassion and understanding.

What’s the best way for this?

Encourage them to open up about their fears and concerns, and work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

13) You feel they look for reasons to end the relationship

Finally, I’ll conclude this list of signs that your twin flame may be avoiding you perhaps with the most dramatic signs of them all.

Do you ever get the feeling that your twin flame is actively looking for reasons to end the relationship?

Well, I know how it feels. It’s like the ground beneath your feet is crumbling, and you can’t seem to hold on to anything solid.

You may find yourself questioning everything you thought you knew about your twin flame and your relationship.

But don’t give up hope!

Of course, it’s heartbreaking to feel like the person you love is pushing you away. It’s especially  hard when you can’t seem to find a reason why.

But before you start to panic or assume the worst, it’s important to remember that your partner is your twin flame. And when you have the right approach, nothing can break your strong bond!

So don’t lose hope, and don’t give up on your twin flame. 

With patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges, you can create a beautiful and fulfilling relationship that will stand the test of time.

Final thoughts

All in all, the twin flame journey can be a beautiful and transformative experience, but it can also be full of challenges and obstacles. 

Hopefully, now you understand that while these signs can be difficult to navigate, they are not insurmountable — you and your twin flame can work through tough times together to grow!

The twin flame journey is a journey of growth, transformation, and deep connection. So, even if your partner is a twin flame avoider, take a deep breath, stay grounded, and approach the situation with compassion, understanding, and an open heart. 

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