Did you spend years waiting to meet your twin flame – the other half of your soul – only to end up disappointed and stop believing in twin flames altogether?
Look, I get it. It’s a lot of pressure to put on your partner and your relationship.
You grow up with certain expectations – which, let’s be honest, are more often than not, unrealistic – and you get disappointed very quickly when those expectations aren’t met.
So, is the problem the fact that twin flame relationships aren’t real, or is it your definition of a twin flame relationship?
Personally, I don’t think you should stop looking for your twin flame or your soulmate. But I do think that you should adjust your definition of such relationships and take another look at the relationship that you have with yourself.
Now, let’s take a look at some of the possible reasons that you have stopped believing in twin flames:
1) The relationship is not what you expected
When you first fall in love with someone, you tend to overlook their flaws. You’re blinded by passion and excitement, and you expect that things will only get better.
But when the excitement dies down, you start seeing things more clearly. And if your expectations don’t match up to the reality of your twin flame relationship, you might be tempted to doubt whether there ever was a twin flame connection in the first place.
You might have expected your twin flame to behave in a certain way, but your partner is a unique individual with their own quirks and flaws.
That’s why it’s important to go into any relationship with your eyes open and with realistic expectations.
I think that a lot of the time we give up on romantic partners because they’re not how we imagined our “perfect” partner to be.
But the fault lies with us. Often we have the wrong idea of what love is and what a twin flame or perfect relationship should look like.
All in all, even if you stopped believing in twin flames, you need to adjust your expectations or you’ll keep getting disappointed in love. Life is just not a happily ever after Disney cartoon.
2) Things get messy fast
Every relationship goes through a honeymoon phase where being together is easy and wonderful.
But after a while, when the honeymoon phase is over, the two of you start seeing each other for who you really are. And that’s when the intensity of emotions starts to build up.
This can be a good thing if you are both invested in the relationship and committed to resolving issues as they arise.
However, it can also be a bad thing if you and your partner don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with things like communication issues, insecurity, and the need for space.
The thing is that you can’t expect that you and your twin flame will magically skip over the messy parts.
You need to figure out how to communicate with each other and deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
That’s where a lot of people give up on the idea of twin flames. They think that because of the deep and spiritual nature of such relationships, there should be no messy bits and no work.
You have to go into a relationship with your eyes open and know that it’s perfectly normal for fights and complex situations to arise from time to time. We’re all human after all.
The bottom line is: All relationships get messy from time to time and all relationships require a lot of hard work – especially twin flame relationships.
3) Things aren’t perfect
The truth of the matter is that you can’t expect any relationship to be perfect.
As I said, relationships require work, and the best couples are the ones who are always striving to be better.
But when you expect perfection from your partner and your relationship, you will get frustrated and disappointed easily.
If you expect your twin flame to be flawless, you’ll only experience disappointment. Nobody is perfect: you’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, and your twin flame is certainly not perfect.
I think Justin Brown, founder of Ideapod, put this very well in his video on The Dark Side to Believing in Twin Flames and Soulmates.
According to Justin, these beliefs “can become quite damaging because if we go around this Earth with the belief that … the perfect person is out there, that’s going to stop us from getting to know the people that are already in our lives, who we may have already realized are not perfect. And the thing for us to know is that nobody is perfect even if you believe in twin flames and soul mates they’re probably going to come to you in a form that doesn’t fit what you see in your wildest dreams.”
So you don’t have to stop believing in twin flames, but you need to understand that nobody is perfect and that when you fall in love with someone who you think is your twin flame or soulmate, you shouldn’t give up on them the minute you figure out that they’re less than perfect.
4) You aren’t on the same page when it comes to important things
When you’re dating casually, you don’t expect to agree on everything.
But when you fall in love and get close enough to share your hopes and dreams, you might expect your twin flame to be on the same page as you are. But what if they don’t?
If you don’t share the same values and goals, you might start doubting whether there was ever a twin flame connection.
Well, you do have a point.
Twin flame or not, in order to have a successful and lasting relationship, it’s important to share the same values. That doesn’t mean that you have to agree on everything, but if you don’t agree on the important things, it’s going to be difficult to go ahead with your relationship.
I also think that you need to be willing to compromise from time to time and adjust your expectations so that you don’t get stuck in your ways. This doesn’t mean that you should change your core beliefs, but it means that you should be a little flexible from time to time for your relationship to work.
5) The physical chemistry is missing
Physical chemistry is a tricky thing. It’s easy to fall into the trap of expecting it to last forever.
Maybe you’ve experienced amazing physical chemistry with your former partners and you expected that you would share such chemistry with your twin flame.
Maybe you share a deep soul connection with this person but aren’t physically attracted to each other.
Look, physical chemistry isn’t a given in a twin relationship. Some twin flame relationships are of a romantic nature, while others aren’t.
Romance is a mysterious thing, and there are no rules when it comes to physical chemistry.
And maybe there was a strong physical attraction at first and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and now it’s gone and suddenly you don’t think they’re your twin flame anymore.
In my experience, like with everything else in life and relationships, if you want to keep the spark alive, you need to put in the hard work. Yes, attraction and physical chemistry take work.
If you just expect it to stay the same forever without doing anything to nurture it, things will naturally fade away.
6) You feel disappointed and frustrated
If you keep getting disappointed with all your relationships, it’s completely understandable that you may have stopped believing in twin flames. After all, if they existed, wouldn’t that mean living happily ever after once you found your twin flame?
Ok, so remember how I said that we have the wrong idea about what to expect from twin flame relationships and from love?
Well, the truth is that if you want to stop being disappointed and find love and happiness, you need to start by working on the relationship you have with yourself and find out why you’re self-sabotaging your relationships.
I learned this from renowned shaman Rudá Iandê in his eye-opening masterclass on The Art of Love and Intimacy. He taught me that the reason I was disappointed was not because I didn’t find my twin flame, but because I was looking for an ideal person that doesn’t exist.
No wonder I was always feeling let down. It’s probably how you’re feeling now. Am I right?
So, if you’re tired of being disappointed and looking for love in all the wrong places, I recommend that you check out his free video here. Trust me, once you listen to what Rudá has to say, things will make a lot more sense.
7) You’re questioning what a twin flame relationship has to offer
You’ve probably heard how twin flames are supposed to last a lifetime and be completely unconditional.
You’ve probably heard how you’re supposed to feel an intense connection with your twin flame from day one.
For years you thought that one day you’d be living a blissful and happy life with your twin flame. But now you find yourself doubting whether or not a twin flame relationship can actually deliver on those promises.
It’s all part of the unrealistic expectations we build in our heads. I think you need to be a bit more open-minded about what your ideal partner and relationship will be like and give people a chance.
Who knows, maybe the person you least expected to be your twin flame will turn out to disappoint you.
The bottom line is that you should stop thinking in terms of twin flames and soulmates and what they can offer you. Instead, relax and live a little. Be open to meeting different people.
8) There’s no such thing as one true love
This is so true.
What are the chances that you will find someone who is absolutely perfect for you?
How many times do you think you’ve found “the one” only to discover they were the wrong one?
How many times do you think you’ve fallen in love with the “wrong” person?
You may have had your heart broken over and over again by people who let you down or weren’t the right person for you, but what if you’ve been looking at it all wrong? What if you’ve been focusing on all the people who let you down and have caused you pain?
When you focus on all the people who let you down and have caused you pain, you completely ignore all the people who have been there for you, the people who have loved you even when you didn’t love yourself, and the people who have been there for you through thick and thin.
You ignore all the relationships that brought you love, joy, and happiness.
9) They don’t complete you
You might expect your twin flame to be your best friend, your soulmate, your partner in crime, and in many ways they are.
But if you believe that you are half a person until you meet them, you are deeply mistaken.
The truth is that twin flames are not meant to fulfill all your needs – they can’t complete you.
You thought that when you meet your twin flame, your life will be complete and you will be able to stop working on yourself.
Big mistake. No wonder you don’t believe in twin flames anymore.
First of all, nobody other than yourself can make you feel complete. A twin flame is there to be your partner – to challenge you, to support you, but not to complete you.
The only person that can complete you is, well, you.
I mean think about the pressure that such expectations put on your relationship!
As Justin put it in his video, “when you wait your whole life searching for this person and you finally find them you’re going to unload your hopes and your dreams … on that other person. Your whole existence, your whole happiness, the whole feeling of love is dependent upon that relationship … and I think that that’s a lot of pressure for you and your partner to bear”.
You need to get rid of the idea that you need them in order to be happy. You need to learn to be happy by yourself.
If you’re with someone you thought was your twin flame and you still feel like a part of you is missing, it’s not because they’re not your twin flame. It’s because you still have a lot of work to do on yourself and the relationship you have with yourself.
You shouldn’t feel like a half-person who needs them to make you feel whole. Unfortunately, many people have been disappointed because they found that their twin flame doesn’t make them feel complete.
It’s easy to build a fantasy in your head about what having a twin flame relationship will be like.
10) You have different expectations of what a relationship should be
Listen, no relationship is traditional, and every relationship is a unique blend of love, passion, and commitment.
But when you are comparing your twin flame relationship to your past romantic relationship, you might find yourself wondering why your twin flame isn’t as serious as you want them to be or why they aren’t as invested in the relationship as you are.
But every relationship is different, and you can’t expect your twin flame relationship to be exactly like your past romantic relationship.
You have to go into a relationship with an open mind, knowing that you will have to make compromises and figure out what works best for both of you as a couple.
11) You just want to be happy – with or without your twin flame
Finally, you may have just come to a place where you just want to be happy. You’ve been searching for your twin flame your entire life and you’re just tired.
You want to be happy with or without your twin flame. You’ve lost hope and you just don’t think it’s going to happen for you.
You’ve been through so much, you’ve lost your passion for the journey and you just want to be done with it. You’ve tried to find your twin flame for so long and you’re just tired of looking.
You’ve given up hope and you don’t believe it will ever happen for you.
Listen to me: You will find happiness. Whether it’s in the form of a twin flame, soulmate, or something else all together, if you’re open to love, love will come your way so don’t despair.
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