I used to think soulmates and twin flames were the same. I used to believe that when you find your soulmate, you automatically find your twin flame, but I was wrong.
Soulmates and twin flames are not the same people.
And if you’ve found yourself here, that means you’re looking for answers, right?
It’s normal to be confused. Trust me. I’ve been there!
But let me share with you how I’ve been navigating the intense push and pull between a soulmate and a twin flame!
When I met my first boyfriend, I thought he was “the one.”
Yes, it was terribly misguided. I guess ending up with your first love only happens to some people. Most of us often see our first relationships as a rite of passage.
Thinking that my first boyfriend was my soulmate and twin flame was a reach!
What can I say? I was young at the time, and not to mention a little stupid.
Anyway, going back to the revelation…
I was in a relationship with my first boyfriend at the time, and we have been together for about four years. We were formally introduced during our junior year.
Since we went to the same school, we were together every day.
I didn’t really get the chance to socialize much. He was very possessive.
It was fine at first. I thought it was romantic that he got jealous. But then I started to realize that it wasn’t as flattering as I thought it would be. I started noticing all the red flags.
It was the last year of junior high and the most awaited magical night – prom night.
Of course, my boyfriend was my date.
But before I went to the event, I went to the studio with my parents for a photoshoot.
As I stepped out of the car, a vehicle full of students from a school nearby stopped near the studio.
I saw two students get out – two guys, to be exact – but one of them looked at me.
Normally, I would look away. I have no business being in a staring contest with other guys.
“What would my boyfriend say?” I thought to myself.
Four years with a possessive person can turn you into your own attention-police!
But this time, I couldn’t look away.
The guy felt familiar. But how could he be? I don’t remember meeting him.
For days, I kept thinking about that guy I saw on the street. I have never felt that way with a stranger, so it really bothered me.
I started looking at old pictures from events that I went to, hoping that I might see his face.
But I didn’t, so I stopped. I grabbed my phone and opened my social media.
As I was scrolling through my feed, I saw a picture. It was a group picture!
And guess what? He was in it.
And that’s when it hit me. I did see him before, and not just once!
Days before the much-awaited junior prom, I remembered seeing him at the mall and on the streets.
But the most vivid memory I could recall was the first time that I saw him.
It was not a great day. I was at the mall with my family, and I got into an argument with my boyfriend, so I wasn’t really in a good mood.
As we were walking into the department store, I felt the need to look behind me.
I saw a guy with someone who seemed to be his mom. He was looking at me as they were walking. At the time, I looked away.
But just like any other curious girl, when I saw him going down the stairs, I looked back, hoping he wouldn’t see me.
And the moment I decided to look back, he looked right back at me and smiled.
And I don’t know if it was because of that smile, but for some reason, I started to feel good.
Then came the end of our junior year. It wasn’t a good one for my relationship with my boyfriend. We constantly had tension and it both gave us so much stress.
I couldn’t believe what was happening. And to think, we started off with great attraction and chemistry, but now it was all in ruins!
We were becoming too dependent on each other. We were always picking petty fights for the smallest reasons. So, we decided to try and grow separately.
We also started going to different schools.
A new chapter
Fast forward to my orientation day in a new school, I was the transferee.
Since I was new, I didn’t want to impose my presence, so I sat at the back of the room.
I didn’t really know anybody, so as much as I wanted to sit at the front to better understand the orientation, I didn’t.
I just sat back, listened, and observed.
After the orientation, I couldn’t help but notice the group of students seated in the front. They caught my attention.
At first, I couldn’t really see their faces because of the large crowd, until people started to clear some space, and someone turned around.
And guess who it was?
Yup, the guy I saw at the mall and on prom night!
At first, I found it funny because who would’ve thought that we were going to be schoolmates?
After that, I went home. I started preparing my things for school the following day then after dinner, I went to sleep.
Cut to the first day of class, I felt a very intense energy come over me.
Since I was new to the school, I didn’t know where my classroom would be and who my classmates were, so I went to school a little early.
I went to the faculty, and they escorted me to my classmates. They were all lined up near the gym, waiting for everyone before they went to the classrooms.
As I got in line, I saw the same guy at the front of the line.
At first, I thought, maybe he was just in our line because of his friends.
What are the chances we were classmates right? But fate proved me wrong yet again.
We were in the same class, and he did not only become my classmate, but I found out he was also elected the president of our class!
In my head, I nicknamed him “Mr. Smiley.” Might as well give him a name, right?
Since I seemed to be bumping into him all the time at the most unexpected places.
As days passed, I saw that Mr. Smiley had a way with people.
One day in class, we had an activity. The boys in our class had to pick a girl as their partner for a game, and it couldn’t be someone that they knew.
I was seated at the back, waiting for someone to approach me, and someone did.
Mr. Smiley asked me to be his partner for the game.
After that, our teachers gave plenty of group activities, and we would always find ourselves in the same group for different subjects!
Most of the time, he would ask me to be his partner. Until eventually, we became friends.
One day he asked me about my relationship. I was shocked at first because I don’t really remember telling him about it since we only talked about school.
He told me some of our classmates told him and that he couldn’t help but notice my sadness, especially when he saw me cry one time.
Normally, I don’t open up to people about my relationship, especially when I have just known them for a short period of time. But with him, I did, and to my surprise, he told me about his past as well.
Months went by, and we started to get closer.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t cheat. I was still with my boyfriend then, and we just wanted to take a little break.
But when my boyfriend discovered I was getting closer to another guy, we fought over him.
Ever since Mr. Smiley and I became friends, it was like a part of me got woken up.
I started to question things and see the flaws in our relationship.
I started to see how toxic we were and how toxic I was as a person.
At the same time, I started to realize things about myself. I started to try new things and realized how boxed I was in the relationship.
Eventually, my boyfriend and I reached the point of letting go. We saw the relationship wasn’t working anymore, and although we love each other, it just wasn’t worth sacrificing our sanity.
So, with a heavy heart, we broke up.
That’s when I realized that my boyfriend was my soulmate.
When we finally gave up on trying to make it work, I saw that life is a much bigger journey to be traveled.
Breaking up with him was one of the best decisions I made. I started to feel joy and love for myself, away from his possessive and suffocating nature.
When we were together, I just wanted to please him and make him comfortable. But spending time apart made me want to do things for myself.
Years passed, and I went to college. I was stepping into young adult life with newfound maturity and experiences. I was single and enjoying my own company.
Mr. Smiley and I have the same interests and passion, and we eventually took the same course.
We were together again, and assigned to the same class, even though we did not deliberately choose to be there together.
Our friendship became stronger than ever, and as the years went by, I started to realize something…
We had an intense attraction, but we never acted on it.
He had never made a direct move at me, but he protected me.
He knew the trauma that I went through with my boyfriend and respected my boundaries.
I was still healing, but he was there, looking out for my best interests.
He did not take advantage of my vulnerability and longing, but he was by my side as somebody I could lean on, and not someone with an agenda.
I realized that although we were not romantically involved, he is my twin flame.
When we first met, I felt an instant connection even though I did not know him at the time.
And when we started talking, I felt like I already knew him.
We had the same values and intellectually connected with each other on a different level!
And now that the relationship has gotten deeper with friendship, I started to see things from a different perspective.
I started to grow. I also became aware of my strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, I would like to believe that I made him aware of his own.
If I’m being honest, sometimes, I think he knows me better than I know myself.
I can’t really say that our friendship throughout has been healthy because there were times that I started to feel that because we complement each other so much, we were becoming too dependent.
But I could say that our relationship has helped me a lot in trying to figure out who I am as a person, and it continues to do so…
I knew that the universe brought him to me for unconditional love – the kind that’s not possessive and boastful. He brings me peace and acceptance, unlike any other relationship that I’ve been in.
And although it’s hard to stay as friends, I would like to believe that someday, we will be brave enough to be together, as a couple.
I know that day will come, but until then, we’ll continue to grow together for each other, and for ourselves.
He is truly the yin to my yang, the light to the dark – my twin flame.
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