“We say we’re friends, but I’m catching you across the room
It makes no sense ’cause we’re fighting over what we do
And there’s no way that I’ll end up being with you
But friends don’t look at friends that way
Friends don’t look at friends that way”
Being in a relationship and eventually breaking up is hard, but do you know what else is hard? Finding your twin flame and not being able to be with them.
When I was younger, I used to think that love is easy – that when you find that special someone, you can easily be with them.
I used to think that when you love someone, telling them wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
Love is much more complicated.
In reality, as much as you love someone, sometimes, telling them and being with them isn’t the right decision.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be friends with them.
When I first met my twin flame, I had no idea it was him.
We met when we were in high school.
At that time, I was in a relationship with another guy. He, on the other hand, had just gotten out of a relationship.
We started as classmates, then eventually became really close friends.
So close that my boyfriend at the time often got jealous of our friendship.
Since we were classmates and we had the same friend group, we were together almost every day.
Eventually, my boyfriend got used to us always being together.
Unfortunately, due to an unexpected turn of events, my boyfriend and I broke up.
Now, you’re probably thinking that it was because of my friend, but no.
There were plenty of reasons why we broke up, but mainly because we have changed, especially me. I saw how toxic he was, that his being overly possessive was not as romantic as I thought, and we simply wanted different things.
We weren’t really getting along anymore, so even though we loved each other, we had to accept the fact that it just wasn’t working, no matter how badly we wanted it to.
We were together for almost six years, so the breakup really took a toll on me.
After the relationship, I started building walls and detaching myself from people.
As I was going through the breakup, I had one person whom I would constantly talk to and hang out with. Yes, what you’re thinking is right. My friend, the one I consider my twin flame.
‘Together but not quite’
Not really much of a surprise, is it?
Anyway, my boyfriend and I broke up before high school graduation.
My friend and I, since we share the same interests, went to the same college and became classmates.
Again, we were together almost every single day.
Because of that, most of our friends and even teachers thought we were together.
I can’t even remember how many times I had to tell people there was nothing going on.
Every time I would tell people that, people would tell me, “But there is something! Everyone could see it.”
Of course, I denied it. I believed that our friendship was just that. Purely platonic.
I stood by that thought and ignored everyone who said otherwise until I couldn’t.
At first, I didn’t really think about what other people were saying.
Then I started to realize how much I had changed since I met him.
I realized how big of an influence he is on me and how connected I feel with him, even from the start.
I mean, even my ex-boyfriend said that he could see us together! And that’s when it hit me.
That’s when I started to realize that maybe there was something between us.
I wanted to know what was really happening here. Was he just a friend or something more than that? Was he my twin flame or not?
So, in an effort to ease my worries, I turned to the Twin Flame Psychic Robot. Fortunately, just by answering a few simple questions, I got what I needed.
The Twin Flame Psychic Robot turned its powers of artificial intelligence and intuition to give me the answers I needed.
(If you’re in the same boat, you might want to try it out for yourself.)
And I won’t lie, the answers I got…they were exciting and scary at the same time. I didn’t quite know what to do.
So I avoided him. Whenever our teachers gave us activities, I would pair up with someone else, and as much as I could, I didn’t sit beside him. It sucked, but I had to do it.
Aside from the fact that I was still healing from my previous relationship, he was my friend. I didn’t want to ruin that. I didn’t want him to think that I was using him to get over my ex, even though, at the time, years had already passed, and I cherished him the most.
So as much as it broke my heart, I stepped away. But fate had different plans.
Every time that I would try to avoid him, something came up. I remember one time, our teacher gave our class a “by-pair activity.”
But unlike the other activities we had, we couldn’t choose our partners.
Our teacher prepared a bowl filled with papers, and written on those papers were numbers.
The instruction was simple: the person who gets the same number as you becomes your partner.
When we had that activity, I was at the peak of avoiding my friend, so I was really hoping not to get the same one as him.
But fate had other plans. We got the same number.
After that activity, I went back to trying to avoid him. It went on for weeks.
One night, I was feeling really sad for no apparent reason.
I went on Twitter and started rambling about my feelings.
As it turned out, my friend was also online, and he started retweeting all of my tweets and eventually sent me a private message.
He asked what was happening, saying that the world feels so lonely for him.
Now, I’m not going to tell you all the details, but basically I was talking about how unfair it is that other people get to be with the people they love and feel that genuine happiness.
I remember him agreeing to everything I said that night.
Weirdly, he said, he knows exactly how I feel.
He asked me the name of the guy I was talking about, telling me that he found him “stupid.” Of course, I didn’t answer. But at that time, I badly wanted to tell him already. But instead, I asked him the same question. He also didn’t answer.
He said that he realized his “pride” is the only thing he has left, so he’ll keep it.
I wanted to know who he was talking about, but I respected his decision not to tell me as he respected mine.
After that, I realized how much he means to me and how important our relationship is – call it what you want, a “friendship,” a “situationship,” or a hot complicated mess. All I know is, I am happy that he’s in my life.
And so, I decided not to avoid him anymore. I started hanging out with him again.
But I felt like I was still in a vulnerable place, and a part of me was still confused and scared. So, I didn’t tell him why I avoided him in the first place. I just told him that I was sorry. Fortunately, he didn’t force me to explain.
You’re probably thinking that I was being unfair, I know I was.
I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t.
I was starting to feel something different, but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, especially because I was still healing from my previous relationship. But I do feel a deep connection.
We had an intense attraction, but we never acted on it. Every time I’m around him, I feel a strong pull, almost like gravity.
He had never made a direct move at me, but he protects me.
He knew the trauma that I went through with my boyfriend and respects my boundaries.
I was still healing, but he was there, looking out for my best interests.
He did not take advantage of my vulnerability and longing, but he was by my side as somebody I could lean on and not someone with an agenda.
I realized that although we are not romantically involved, he is my twin flame.
When we first met, I felt an instant connection even though I did not know him at the time.
And when we started talking, I felt like I already knew him.
We had the same values and intellectually connected with each other on a different level!
And now that the relationship has gotten deeper with friendship, I started to see things from a different perspective.
Ever since I met him, I changed a lot, but not because he wanted me to or told me to. I just did.
I started to become more aware of certain things, and I started to discover a lot about myself.
I became more open and accepting of the flaws I have.
I became more understanding.
Our friendship has helped me grow in ways I have never imagined possible.
Our friendship is special, and it is because of that fact – I can’t be with him.
Our friendship is too important that I can’t risk it.
And yes, I know that most healthy and successful relationships start off as friends, but right now, I can’t risk it.
I’m still healing from past traumas, and I don’t want my toxicity to ruin what we have
As much as I love and care for him, I cannot and I do not want to be with him. Or at least, not right now. It’s not easy not to be with someone you know is the best for you.
And I know he feels the same way. We make so much sense together, but I guess, we have other things we should deal with first.
I know that the chances of him meeting another girl and possibly falling for her are high.
That’s the thing about unconditional love, I want him to be happy even if it means I’ll endure a world of pain. It hurts my entire being to even think about it.
But if there’s one thing I know about life, it’s that fate will always find a way.
So if you ask me how I deal with the struggle of not being together even though I know or feel that we were meant for each other, this is my answer: faith.
I have faith that if we are destined to be together, no matter what happens, no matter the distance, we will still find our way back to each other.
I have accepted the fact that when it comes to love, there’s not really anything you can do to guarantee that you get what you want.
Sometimes, you have to let go of the person you love so you can grow.
You have to let them go so they can find their way back.
If they don’t, then they weren’t the one.
As Taylor Swift said, “these hands had to let it go free, and this love came back to me.”
A lot of things can happen in a day, even more so in a year!
At the end of the day, you end up with the person you are meant to be with.
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