Do twin flames test each other? Here’s the truth

If you are in a twin flame relationship, you might notice that there are some tests involved.

Today, I want to give you an insight into my own story.

You see, when I first met my twin flame, things were going great.

They were the one for me.

However, not long into the relationship, we started testing each other, and these tests got so intense that they made me rethink this entire concept and whether this person was truly meant for me.

Let me tell you more about what I went through, and how I ended up turning my relationship back around.

Spoiler alert: I am now in the happiest, healthiest relationship of my life, and I don’t think that would have been possible without that short painful period in between which made me learn a lot!

Meeting my twin flame: Everything seemed just perfect at first

When I met my twin flame, I felt like a puzzle piece had found its missing half.

We seemed to fit perfectly together. We liked the same things, and we were interested in the same topics.

We were in sync with each other, and we were fascinated by each other’s lives and backgrounds.

You see, we were excited to see each other, and while spending time together, we had a lot of deep and intense conversations.

It was like magic! Sure, I had known about twin flames before and was aware of the concept, but a part of me had always doubted if such a person could really exist for me.

We both felt like we had met the person who was meant to be in our lives forever, and we were grateful to have found each other.

We felt each other’s love and care, and our relationship was something we wanted to last forever.

That was completely new territory for me.

You see, in my previous relationships, it always felt as if something was missing. Either, I felt like I had to do a lot of work to make my partners happy, or I felt like they did not really care about me.

But now, there was this amazing sense of relief. I finally felt connected with someone.

I felt like the person who could be my best friend and my soulmate all at once, and it was a feeling that just kept growing deeper and deeper as time went by.

Even though I couldn’t quite believe it, it truly did feel magical – as if I had known this person my entire life!

Everything I had read online seemed to come true and I thought “Wow, I am going to be happy for the rest of my life!”

Well – needless to say that wasn’t quite the case, which brings me to the next part of my story:

Starting to test each other

We both started doubting our relationship after a little while.

After everything seemed to be perfect at first, we started experiencing some doubts and worries about our relationship.

It felt like something was off and that something was not going to last forever.

While spending time together, we noticed that there were some differences in the way we saw things and lived our lives, and as time passed, we started testing each other a little bit.

We wanted to find out more about each other since we were new to being in a relationship, and we wanted to make sure this was the right path for us.

Now, there are two types of testing: constructive and destructive testing.

Constructive testing is when you test your relationship to make sure it can hold up under pressure. It is harmless and nothing too crazy.

You want to find out what keeps you together in the long run.

Destructive testing is when you are not sure if you are with the right person or not.

You want to see what your partner can endure and if they can pass the test.

The thing is, this destructive testing can become quite toxic and unhealthy over time.

You see, while the tests started out harmless, like asking my twin flame “So, would you still be with me if I couldn’t have kids, even if kids are your dream?”, they soon became more intense and less constructive, which brings me to my next point:

The tests became difficult and painful

For a short time, our tests were mostly positive.

We wanted to learn more about each other, and we also wanted to get to know each other better after the initial phase of the relationship.

But as time went on, my twin flame started testing me a lot more, and not in a positive way.

They wanted to see what I was made of, and they wanted me to prove to them that I would stand by them no matter what.

At first, the tests were easy. My twin flame wanted me to stay with them when they didn’t feel great, when they had a bad day, or when they were stressed out.

As time passed, the tests became more and more intense.

They wanted me to prove to them that I was strong enough to go through some difficult times with them.

It felt like they were trying to push me away, and I didn’t understand why.

I have to be honest here, as my twin flame was testing me more and more, I also started testing them.

We started to spend a lot of time together, almost 24/7, yet a big part of that time was spent fighting or talking about our relationship.

It was a time of uncertainty and pain, and I wanted to know if they would still be there for me in the long run.

I wanted to know that they would be able to stand by me no matter what, even if I didn’t have anything to offer them anymore.

My twin flame got very jealous and possessive, and I felt myself going down a similar path.

We triggered each other all the time and every little thing my twin flame did seemed to stir up emotions within me and vice versa!

It went so far that I even considered doing a loyalty test on them!

(If you don’t know what that is, you basically pay someone to try and slide into your partner’s dms to see if they would entertain that connection or not)

Before I did that, however, I stopped myself.

I stopped and thought about what had become of our beautiful relationship in such a short amount of time.

The connection started to feel toxic and unhealthy

Seeing that the connection between us was getting toxic, I started to worry about our future.

I knew that this relationship was wrong for me, but I couldn’t understand why both me and my twin flame were so unhealthy for each other when we wanted the relationship to move forward.

That’s when I started looking for information and advice to figure out what I was doing wrong.

I read blog posts and books that talked about twin flame relationships and the twin flame phenomenon.

Some of them talked about how a twin flame relationship is a test, and it’s actually a really difficult test.

The twin flame concept says that you come into this world with one person who has a mirror soul to yours.

Your souls are so similar that they are almost one.

Reading about how this testing phase was common for twin flames, I honestly started to lose some hope.

You see, if THIS was what I had believed in all this time, and this was supposed to be this great relationship, even though it felt so painful, then something wasn’t right.

That’s when I slowly started to lose hope in the twin flame concept…

I lost hope in the twin flame concept

When I read that the twin flame relationship is a test, I was so disappointed.

I thought that this meant that my twin flame and I had failed each other.

My twin flame and I were both interested in spirituality and healing, and I thought that this meant we were twin flames.

I didn’t want to think that we failed at being twin flames.

I didn’t want to think that the person I loved and cared about the most could hurt me or that I could hurt them this much.

Even though I was losing hope in this whole idea of twin flames, I didn’t want to think that our relationship was a failed one.

I wanted to think that everything was perfect. But looking at it from this perspective, I didn’t see how I could possibly salvage that beautiful relationship we had at the beginning.

I was scared that our relationship would end soon and that we had to say goodbye.

However, a part of me was still determined – I didn’t want to give up just yet.

I figured out what went wrong in my relationship

After a while, I started to understand that the tests we had to face were just parts of the twin flame phenomenon.

I realized that we needed time to get to know each other and that we needed time to see if we were the right person for one another.

I understood that my twin flame was trying to find out if I was strong enough to handle the challenges of life with them.

They wanted to know if I was the right person for them.

Simply put, they wanted to see if I would stay with them through the tough times, and they wanted to see if I could be with them as they dealt with their issues.

I realized that the pain and frustration we both felt was not necessarily a bad sign.

It was a sign that we were growing and evolving as individuals.

And the best part?

It was a sign that we needed to work on ourselves in order to be good partners for each other.

How did I figure that out?

Well, I watched an amazing Youtube video by Justin Brown.

The title of the video is “The dark side to believing in twin flames and soulmates” and as you can imagine, I watched it at a time when I was ready to give up on everything and accept the fact that my twin flame and I were doomed.

However, something Justin said in that video really made things click for me.

You see, he talked about how many people approach this concept in the wrong way, seeing their twin flame as their other half – the only person who could possibly make them happy.

Of course, this kind of thinking will lead to some pretty unhealthy relationship patterns down the line!

I was baffled – looking back, I was almost embarrassed at how my twin flame and I had acted.

However, he also talked about a much healthier approach to the entire concept of twin flames – one with which you can still love each other and be there for one another, but in a healthier, not-so-codependent way!

I’d go into it a bit more, but I think it’s easier if you just watched the video for yourself:

That’s when things really started to take a turn for the better:

We worked on ourselves and our communication

My twin flame and I took some time off from each other.

We needed some space because we were both feeling overwhelmed with the tests we had been going through.

We didn’t want to hurt each other, and we knew that the only way to fix this was to take some time off from each other to heal and grow as individuals.

Trust me, this was as scary as it sounds – I didn’t want to lose them, but I also knew that right now, we were in an unhealthy loop that could only be escaped by working on ourselves.

While we were apart, both of us tried to improve our lives by focusing on ourselves.

We tried to clean up our energy, make our lives better, and find ways to heal our past wounds.

Most importantly, we also worked on our communication skills, and we made sure that we were communicating our needs and wants to each other.

We wanted to make sure we were on the same page, and we wanted to make sure that we knew what our expectations were.

This time was not easy, I missed my twin flame like crazy, but I knew that it was necessary and that if we were meant to be, we’d find back to one another.

Now, before I tell you how this story went on, I just want to emphasize that it always takes two to fix a relationship:

It always takes two to fix a relationship

We both realized that even though we were testing each other, we still needed to be careful with our communication.

We also needed to make sure that we were communicating our needs and wants to each other.

You see, we needed to make sure that we were being understanding and compassionate towards each other.

Essentially, we had to understand that each of us was trying to figure out what this relationship was about.

The biggest lesson here was that none of this would have been possible if we weren’t both committed to being with each other.

You see, if only one person works on themselves and tries to make things work, things will soon tip out of balance.

Both people need to work on themselves and make things work.

This is what my twin flame and I did, and this is why we’re back together stronger than ever.

The thing is, if you find yourself being the only one putting in the work, you will probably be better off breaking things off and finding someone else.

Your ideal partner will also be willing to improve themselves!

But enough about that, back to the story!

Finding back to one another

Slowly but surely, we both found ways to improve our lives and get better.

After a while, we also missed each other and were ready to come back together.

We realized that we loved each other, and we wanted to be in this relationship again.

Slowly but surely, we started working on things again and picking up where we left off.

We wanted to make sure that we were on the right path and that the tests we had to go through were truly worth it.

We wanted to make sure that our relationship was a healthy one again.

After all that struggle, we are finally happy in this relationship. We have learned a lot from each other, and we have grown immensely.

This time, we made sure to engage in healthier behaviors – no more codependency, no more extreme jealousy, and most importantly – no more tests.

Now we knew that we didn’t need those tests anymore!

Being happy together

We had done it – we were finally happy together!

You see, even though it wasn’t easy, we made it through the thick of it all and came out the other side happy and healthy.

Now: does that mean that every relationship that is unhealthy and toxic has the potential to be beautiful and healthy?

Not necessarily.

It is important to know the difference between when both people are willing to work on it, or if this relationship will always be toxic to some extent.

In those cases, it’s better to leave.

For us, taking space and working on ourselves really helped us to find each other again.

And the best part?

There was no more need for testing each other.

You see, once you heal your inner attachment wounds, you realize that there is no need in controlling or testing your partner!

If they are not right for you, they will show their true face in time.

Why test them and make both of you miserable?

You will be okay, no matter what happens, so even if you can’t trust your partner yet, you can at least trust that!

The takeaway

I hope that my story has resonated with you on some level.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share it online, but I figured that if I made such a substantial discovery about myself and our relationship, it might help other people reach the same conclusion!

Every relationship is different, and your path will likely not look like mine.

However, maybe this has given you some inspiration or courage that sometimes, taking time apart and working on yourself is what can bring you closer together!